Mother's Day...

Today, while at Target for a few groceries, I passed the greeting card area. I actually paused a moment and took it all in. Little groups of children looking for that perfect card...new daddies with their little ones, perhaps choosing his wife's first Mother's Day Card, and on and on. I got so tickled at these 3 little girls trying to find that perfect card. It brought back sweet memories of years gone by. Saturday before Mother's Day at our house was like Christmas Eve. My first Mothers Day, we lived in Grinnell, Iowa and Roy took Christine to the mall in Des Moines to get that perfect gift. In the years that followed, he would get the kids up, load them in the car, usually go for breakfast somewhere and then set off for Olla Padrida, a little shopping mall in Dallas that is no longer there. He would let each one of them choose a gift, a card and wrapping materials before heading home, where they would set up a special ops room, complete with signs that read 'Mommy, do not enter...please'. Always good manners, of course. I'd hear the giggles, kids would run through looking for markers, then tape, then scissors. They'd have such a hard time not spilling the beans about the goods they had purchased. Then, very early on Sunday morning, some form of breakfast would be brought to me...usually donuts and milk...enough for everyone...and we'd all pile on the bed for a special breakfast and...the presents. Little squeals of 'mommy, open mine first' resounded until all the paper was ripped off and my little pile of treasures laid before me. Their smiles said it all...they felt victorious...they'd done it...they were so proud. Roy was very intentional about days like Mother's Day...and for me, that was gift enough. He wanted our kids to know that these days were created for making memories, and each year, that's exactly what he did.

As I grew up, Mother's Day was also a special day! My daddy would usually help us pick something out and we'd make cards for our mama. We'd go to my grannie's for a big lunch, and when I got older, I thought that was so funny because the moms did all the work! Alot of people think the greeting card companies created this day just to make money, and based on the cost of a card today, that may play into it! But I LOVE days like these. I love picking out that perfect card...and I love celebrating my mama. Some years, we are together on this
day...some years not. But no matter where we are, I celebrate her. As a little girl, I thought my mom was the most beautiful lady I'd ever seen (and she was...still is!). She always cooked dinner and we always sat down together...she never helped her plate until we were almost done eating...and years later, I realized she was waiting to make sure we'd had all we wanted. She sewed dresses for us that you could've
never matched at a department store. She made memories with each of us that we all carry today. She loves our daddy. She made sure
we knew how much God loves us...and that hard work is part of growing. When each of us got married, she worked her magic...Donna got
married in Searcy, so she loaded up the car and put on a long distance wedding, long before that was normal...she stayed up most of the
night before my wedding finishing dress alterations and preparing food...she toted her crock pot to Wisconsin for Davids wedding so she
could make pulled pork, in the hotel room, for the rehearsal dinner...she made sure there was something special for Marianne's 1st graders at her wedding. Her love for each of us is only outshined by her love for our daddy! And that's one of the most important lessons she ever taught us. Many people compare others to the woman in Proverbs 31, but seriously, that could've been written just for her.

I love how others love her too! When I go to Glen Rose to church, everyone tells me 'we love your mom and dad'. That's no surprise but it's so nice to hear. I have watched her take care of other's children...my grannie...my daddy...and 18 months ago, she stepped in and took care of me again. Roy LOVED my mama! He had lost his mom before we married, but he felt he had found another in my mom. Even though they weren't that far apart in age, she treated him like he was one of her own. When he died, she walked that road with me, and continues to do so today. She has 4 kids, 4 sons/daughters in law, 13 grandchildren, 3 great-grandchildren, and a host of family and friends who 'arise and call her blessed'. She is an amazing woman of God, and the queen of our hearts! Happy Mother's Day, Mama...thanks for teaching us what love is...

Anticipation...

I originally posted this on Friday, but had to take it down, because it looked like Clint would not make it home on Saturday...but, thank God, he did...and now my post has an extra special ending...

You remember...you were little...it was almost Christmas...and every night you went to bed got you closer to Christmas Eve. It was all about the anticipation! No matter what's going around us, there are always things to anticipate...spring, vacation, a new baby, payday, a good Saturday afternoon nap...those things that we look so forward to because they are just slightly different from the everyday norm. Sometimes those things can make our hearts race a little...make us a little nervous, excited, overwhelmed. I remember so many sweet times watching our kiddos anticipate...whether it was the school musical for Christine, a big basketball game for Emily, or any sporting event for Brad...you could see all the emotions...and sometimes, I could feel their butterflies myself!

In the past year, I have learned a new meaning for anticipating heaven...thought I cannot wait to meet Jesus...I also anticipate being reunited with my sweet Roy...and THAT gets me through as I continue my journey here on earth.

But, today, our anticipation is for a return...there are butterflies racing through all our tummies...there are yellow bows tied to trees and porch and railing, there is an American flag flying proudly by the front step, and there is a precious girl...my Emily...waiting for her soldier. He's on his way home...at some point today, he'll land on American soil...and in the morning, he'll be met by a wild crowd at DFW...armed with signs, video cameras, and hearts overflowing with love and relief!

Though Roy was in Vietnam, we were not together at that time. His homecoming, however, was very different...no public welcome home...no hurray! But, yesterday, Emily and I both had the same thought at the same time...he would have LOVED being a part of Clint's WELCOME HOME! And, of course, he will be there with us...

Please keep Clint in your prayers as he returns home...for safe travel...for an absolutely overwhelming outpouring of love and appreciation from those he holds so dear...a comfortable readjustment period...and rest...from the weariness of war...and being away from his girl.

Athena and Lily have kept Emily company for these long 6 months...those cute dogs! But now, it's their turn! Can't wait to watch her run into his arms...right where she belongs...counting the hours...in anticipation...

SO.....on Friday afternoon, Emily called and said "he's not gonna be home tomorrow". So, quickly, I took this post down! I had no idea what to say to her...such disappointment...but still hopeful that he would get home soon!

Around lunchtime on Saturday, Christine texted me and said "hey, we're all going to go to Emily and Clint's for lunch around 2:00...to cheer her up..." And, so I got some dessert together...she wanted bar-b-que...so Matt and Christine took care of that. On my way, I stopped to pick up paper towels and toilet paper (this information totally plays into the story...).

When I got there, my arms were loaded with the paper goods and I had a bag with the dessert stuff in it. I walked in, trying to think of what encouraging words I could offer to my Em. I looked up and Clint walked around the corner. I don't know exactly what happened next, but apparently, I dropped everything in my arms. And then I just remember hugging him...and crying...SO HAPPY! Apparently, he flew all through the night trying to get home and only had a little bit of time to get a hold of Emily...so they had a sweet reunion at the airport and then...pulled a fast one on all of us!

I can't even put into words the thankfulness that poured from my heart...both for Clint's safe return...and for the answered prayers to GET HIM HOME.

I love anticipation...those warm, happy feelings it gives you...but in this case, I love the end result better...WELCOME HOME, Clinton!

Blogging again...

I have been wanting to blog again...I have even thought about what I will share...of course, there will be plenty Mimi/Grandma Mindy stories...but alot of my writing will be about my journey during these past 17 months...a journey, I now realize, that will be part of my forever journey. I have prayed...and asked God to guide me...and maybe even help someone else...some of it may not be pretty, but it will be honest...and real. For those of you who have asked me to do this...and encouraged me...thank you. Still Mimi's Corner, what I share about my loss will be called 'Dancing Through My Grief.' Why? For several reasons...on our first date, we danced...in the wee hours of the morning he died, we danced...all dressed up-he in that groovy hospital gown, me-in some very attractive sweats...one of the sweetest memories ever...

Blessings to share...

Over the past several months, I've had the chance for reflection...and lots of it. There are so many things I am capable of doing...but the events last fall totally shook my confidence. I am beginning to rebuild my life, slowly, but deliberately. It's time to try to reengage in things we did as a couple and find mysel a place as just one. One...very blessed one. Later today, I will begin my trip to Nashville that I have wanted to take for months, but scheduling was another matter. But, because of that, I have the unique opportunity to take some much needed supplies to some flood victims, in particular, to families at a school where my niece teaches. These families were hit hard and are struggling to rebuild their lives. There's a similarity there to my life...and I believe God guided me to do this to remind me there are many hurting people in this country! I collected some things on my own, and later this morning, I will head to Fort Worth Christian School to pick up some things they have collected there. My prayer for my trip is that I can be the hands and feet of Jesus to someone there. On a brighter note, I will be getting some much needed sister time with my older sister, Donna, and her family. Blessings to share...sure, lots of them, but the blessings I share will pale in comparison to the ones I will receive. I'll post pictures along the way. Please pray for safe travel for me...and don't forget to pray for the people of Middle Tennessee...blessings...

Let's help Nashville!

I haven't posted in awhile and I have missed blogging! So I am back! This post is a plea for help for the wonderful people of Nashville and surrounding towns. By now, we've all heard about the flooding there...even though the news was a bit slow getting the story out! My older sister lives in Franklin and has seen the devastation firsthand! My niece is student teaching in an area where people lost everything! Please help 'Pack my Expedition' for these good people! Dropoff at my house on Tuesday, May 11, Wednesday, May 12, or Thursday, May 13 from 2-5 PM. If those times don't work for you, call me and I'll come pick it up! Here's the list...it grows every day so keep checking back... I am hoping I get so much I have to rent a UHaul!!!
Clorox wipes, trash age, sox, underwear and tshirts size 6- Adult, ALL toiletries. Toothbrushes and toothpaste, snack foods, paper towels, hand sanitized and hand soap, small toys such as hot wheels, Polly pockets, colors and coloring books, books. We also need giftcards to Walmart, Home Depot and Lowes. I will keep adding things...come on TEXAS...let's help our friends in Tennessee! Be blessed!

I miss you...

Later this morning, i will go and do the most difficult thing i have ever had to do...make funeral arrangements for the love of my life. My precious, precious Roy passed away during a catastrophic triple bypass on Thursday night. Oh, how my heart aches to just have a little more time with the only man i have every loved. But I know that he is whole again, and that he is loving being with his dad, who he lost at the tender age of 16. I am certain that his dad and mom met him at the gates to the most beautiful kingdom he has every seen, and ushered their firstborn into his new home. I know that God will guide us down this difficult road, but i miss him...terribly. My heart is broken...i just wasn't ready for him to go...but he was. His fight had been difficult...too many battles for one man to face...and his sweet body just gave out. He blessed my life for 30 years and gave me 3 wonderful children, 2 amazing stepsons and 6 beautiful grandchildren. I miss him...so much.

Our help comes from the Lord...

Originally posted on facebook on Tuesday, October 27

As I sit in the dark of a cool, quiet hospital room, listening to the love of my life work on every breath he takes, I am reminded of all the sweet times the Lord has been our help..in times of trouble, in times of plenty, in times of sorrow, in times of despair, in times like this.
After a very long night last night, we prayed the morning would bring us answers. Those answers weren't quite what we thought they'd be, but they were the very answers that would save his life. Last night, his heart enzymes were normal, and the thought was possibly pneumonia, problems due to congestive heart failure, fluid buildup, but the heart looked okay...on the ekg, the bloodwork, with the stethescope. His blood pressure was high but with the breathing difficulty, that was expected. His blood sugar soared to a final high of 334, for no apparent reason, and has bobbled up and down all day, even with the insulin. His sweet nurse, Sondra, came in and said they were going to draw the enzymes again just to be sure and in just a short time, she was back telling us that they were re-drawing them and that we were going to the cath lab...WHAT????? Dr. Duran, Roy's longtime cardiologist, came and explained that Roy was having a heart attack at that moment and that they had to go in and fix whatever was going on or risk more heart damage. Everything moved quickly and we settled in with friends and family to wait for the call. When they called us back, Emily and I waited to speak with the doctor. Not the usual routine...usually we were led right to Roy to discuss what he had done to "fix" things. Instead, we saw somber faces and no one said anything. When the doc came out he told us to come on back. I stood at my precious love's side with our Emily right there...and then he said it...we have a problem, several of them. Roy already knew what he was going to say and tears streamed down his face. And then I knew...Roy would need another bypass operation to save his life. The bypasses from 1999 have long since scarred over and peripheral veins have formed to compensate. But the other 3 are now affected. And it's the big ones. I thought he was going to tell me that he had put more stents in..that's what he always says. But not this time...he needs the surgery and he needs as soon as possible. Roy's heart has functioned at a low capacity for quite a while...the reason they put in a defribillator in 2007. Now, it is pumping at about 20%. His heart is so sick. But, first, the other problems have to be addressed...and fast. So, we began making the calls to Christine, Brad, Roy's sons Mike and Mark, who live so far away. And then we spent the afternoon and evening together making lists...lots of them. My sister, Marianne, would handle things at my house...Christine would begin copying down all the little notes that I have made on scrap paper and keep up with everything that is said...Emily spent the whole day with me, encouraged us all, along with sweet Clint. Brad arrived with the laptop so we can watch movies, listen to all his Christian/Gospel music on his computer, cure my insomnia with a bit of facebook! Melissa Jo and Mary Kate brought their precious smiles and loved on Uncle Roy. Jack and Sam came up and performed shows behind the pull curtain by the door. Christine brought a casserole and they even let Roy eat a little. Key family members were missing but not far away in our hearts. People came and went...each offering such sweet prayers for all of us...and our sweet precious Roy. The surgeon came by...love him! He stayed a long time and answered our questions. Told us that we're shooting for Thursday. So the journey continues...tomorrow will be tests, bloodwork, lung evaluation, sugar checks, and the continual friend, Mr. Oxygen.
I won't tell you I'm okay with this...we've dealt with this for many years...he's our rock...he's our hero...he's dad, daddy, grandpa, pappy, "hey you", brother, son, American hero...with a heart so sweet that it seems so wrong that it is so broken.
But, we know...our help comes from the Lord. We will continue to pray and enjoy laughter and smiles and hugs...and we will give this to Him. We will wait for His answer...we will trust that He will be with the doctors, nurses, techs, and anyone else who is involved with this...and with Roy. When we give our "see you later" kisses and hugs, we will wait...and pray..and hope...and think of the wonderful blessing he is to so many. Please join us at any time in a continual season of prayer until the last tube has been removed, the last cut healed, the last IV removed, until we have our Roy back with us.

In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus...when I am alone, give me Jesus...you can have all of this world...but give me Jesus.

You be blessed today...you are all such blessings to us...